you randy little spaniel.

I frankly have nothing. to. say.
And instead of writing about nothing on my stupid blog, I should be doing my AP Eng homework. Or sleeping. But I can't do either on a count of my brain is too empty yet too tightly wound to do anything beneficial for myself.

I just saw Amelia. Eh. Depressing. Sort of uplifting. I mean, she does die in the end. It's hard to watch a two hour movie when you know the ending already. When I say "sort of uplifting" I mean it was totally a girl power movie. Right on. So it's hard not to appreciate Amelia.

The movie theater I go to is such a shady place. Every hoodlum in town hangs out at the Regal on Friday and Saturday night. And they don't really go see movies. They just hang out. In mass groups. They all look the same, like there's some hoodlum dress code. If you're female, you must be showing five inches of skin, wherever skin should not normally be shown. And for the guys, beanies with plaid shirts. Or really low pants, with your boxers all out there, so that the world knows you don't give a damn. It's almost amusing, how horribly Haley and I fit in.

We got into our theater 30 minutes before the movie, because we just had extra time. So we pranced around the seats and just frolicked. Then we took a break, went to the bathroom and when we got back, another little group of hoodlums were in there. We thought "woah, they actually want to see Amelia?" Ahh, no. They were going to see Saw 28650784. So there were only 7 of us in the theater. Except for Haley and me, everyone was at least older than 45 years. I thought, wow, we're pretty gosh darn geeky.

I haven't cried in awhile.
I cried last night, for at least 30 minutes, over DJ AM.

Don't judge me man, you don't know my life.

No, I really did. Insane, right? I didn't care about DJ AM when he was alive. And frankly, when he died, sure it was sad, but it sounded like a million other young, glamorous, stupid people.

But lately I've been watching Gone Too Far, the show where AM tries to help drug rattled teens get sober. AM also battled with drugs his entire life, mainly his use of cocaine. He was so addicted, and so fed up with his addiction, that at one point he tried to kill himself, and the gun jammed. It JAMMED. He sobered up eventually, with little help from family or friends. And in the episode I watched last night, some moronic little girl decided to come home from rehab and shoot up. She's being given all of this help, all of this attention, an opportunity to sober up with guidance and she doesn't take it. Meanwhile, DJ AM was strong enough to get away from drugs on his own, and unfortunately, he gets in a plane crash. And he is in physical and emotional pain, and therefore gets addicted to pain killers. And his girlfriends breaks up with him. And guess what they find in his system when he died? Coke, and a billion other drugs.

It was just so depressing. I haven't cried over anything in a while, and I sobbed over this man.

This just proves how uneven our world is; no matter how much you try, your pain and suffering may never come to an end. Your effort to overcome may be futile.

So I'll just leave you with those happy thoughts.

goodnight.