I SAW PAUL MCCARTNEY! I SAW PAUL MCCARTNEY!

Dear Sophia,

Please, for your own sake, stop wasting your time on people who don't care about you, aren't interested in you, and have no significance whatsoever. Instead, focus on the people in your life who do care for you and like you and love you and have something sincere and important to say. Think about the people who do know you and want to know you because these are the only people who should actually matter in your life. Focus on Tisch, on moving, on school next year and finally being a senior. Next year, you won't think twice about these insignificant people. So why think about them now?

Sincerely,
Sophia
---------------------------

I guess I listen better when other people are telling me what to do.
Actually, I don't think I ever listen to anyone period.
Boys are stupid.
No, don't try to argue. Girls can be stupid, and trust me I know, but they aren't that shallow. That single-minded. Well, some are. Okay, there are a lot of single minded, shallow girls but I don't know them. I only associate with the male types. And even though I talk to a lot of boys and have a lot of friends who are boys, there is always that one (or two) that make you feel like shit. Of course they are not that special and don't deserve the uttmost attention that you pay to them everyday. Of course. So then you realize that they are stupid, but it's not really them who are the problem. It's YOU for allowing them to crawl under your skin.
So I get the feeling I'm just talking myself in circles.
This really gets me no where except more angry at myself.

I need to accept the fact that nothing spectacular is going to happen with any boy in the next 80 days. I've hated it here for so long, and I'm finally getting to break for it. The people here will never see me how I want them to see me and I need to realize this. Fully realize it. I don't think I see them properly. I'm to angry at them to see them properly.
Next year will be THE year and I can wait it out till then.
I just need to stop taking for granted the people I actually love and trust here and start giving them my full attention.